Friday, August 11, 2006

The Real Me

You all know the feeling of confusion and bewilderment? I cannot say that these thoughts I am about to say would give you these. But I believe a large percentage of people would feel this way towards this entry.

I am a good friend. I know that. I see to it that I would do anything my friends say. Sometimes to the point of sacrificing my comfort and pride. It is natural for me to do that. I feel happy about it. But now, I guess my own self has finally given up. It is like every problem shared to me by my close friends, all of those talks and advices I have given them, are all coming back to me. I never knew this would be the effect on my mental health. It is not that I am going crazy, hell no! It is just that I now carry all these negative vibes and now my heart is about to break. I can not help but cry, shout and feel bad about my own life while I help fix the lives of some problematic people. It is hard. I never thought that it would be this hard.

Look at all these pictures. You think I actually am happy just by looking at these portraits? I think my friends see me that way, a happy child. But now, I reveal to you what emotions I have. These are fear, confusion, sorrow and pain.

Posted by halee at 5:36 PM

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Could it be?

I have a feeling that is really awkward, these past few weeks. I am clueless why my mind has been too busy thinking...Oh,I really am ashamed to tell everybody about this right now. Well the truth is, some of my girl friends already know about this. They were the personsI trust, and I hope they would keep that trust. But today, I just have to burst it all out of my chest because I am afraid of the consequences I might encounter.

Is it that unusual if I think of one person all the time, I mean every single minute? Okay, now you got an idea. Yeah. I have a crush, and I guess this is a major one. Now I really am embarrassed. I know it is normal to have one, but I am strongly against this feeling I have as of this moment.

See, I always tend to daydream, and you think I like that? NO!!!

Should I say it to this guy? Should I tell him that I have a crush on him? Oh, what the heck would I do?

I have to FORGET him! I mean it. Immediately!

Posted by halee at 4:51 PM

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